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Live with problems or solve them? Make your choice

Ruslan Galba - March 7, 2019 - 0 comments

You live in a box you’ve carefully constructed to protect yourself.
So I have one.
We all have.

Literally, you have designed every detail of your life to protect yourself from the fears and internal conflicts you aren’t willing to face.
In his book, The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer gives the analogy of a person with a thorn in their arm. This thorn happens to be pierced right on a nerve. Consequently, with the slightest brush of the thorn, an electrifying pain shoots throughout his entire body.

In order for this person to live without pain, he has to make sure nothing touches the thorn in his arm. He can’t sleep on his bed — if he rolls over he’ll touch the thorn. So he creates a device to sleep in to protect the thorn.

Problem solved

He can’t play sports or have much physical contact with other people. So he designs a pad that protects his arm from contact. It’s not very comfortable to wear, but it protects the thorn.
Problem solved.
He’s learned how to manage every area of his life so nothing touches that thorn. From his work to his recreation to his relationships. He’s controlled his external environment so much so that he’s freed from the troubles of his thorn.

-Patric, you have a problem? *can pretend that all is well -NO, this is my new hat

Or is he?
In reality, all this person has done is cover-up the problem. By so doing, he has built his entire life around his problem.
His other option — the far less painful and complicated one — is to simply remove the thorn.
In a similar way, you have internal “thorns” you’ve built your entire life around.

You bury your childhood traumas, your fears, and your emotional insecurities. Whenever something “touches” these internal thorns — rather than letting them rise to the surface, experiencing them, and letting them go — you bury them deeper by distracting yourself from the pain as quickly as possible.

Said Tony Robbins, “You always get out of life exactly what you tolerate.” You’ve learned to tolerate living with your fears and internal conflicts. As a result, you’ve settled for a life far beneath your potential.
We all have.

Pain as a problem of everyday life.

It is a fundamental law of nature that to evolve one has to push one’s limits, which is painful, in order to gain strength whether it’s in the form of lifting weights, facing problems head ­on, or in any other way.

But I prefer to cry

Most people react to pain badly. They have “fight or flight” reactions to it. As a result, they don’t learn to find ways around their barriers, so they encounter them over and over again and make little or no progress toward what they want. 

Those who react well to the pain that stands in the way of getting to their goals—those who understand what is causing it and how to deal with it so that it can be disposed of as a barrier—gain strength and satisfaction. This is because most learning comes from making mistakes, reflecting on the causes of the mistakes, and learning what to do differently in the future. 

Believe it or not, you are lucky to feel the pain if you approach it correctly because it will signal that you need to find solutions and to progress. Since the only way you are going to find solutions to painful problems is by thinking deeply about them—i.e., reflecting 30—if you can develop a knee­jerk reaction to pain that is to reflect rather than to fight or flee, it will lead to your rapid learning/evolving.

Bonus — 8 useful tools for everyday usage:

Emailoctopus — an email marketing service for users of the cloud-based email-sending service Amazon SES. Its features include app integrations, blog automation, responsive templates, real-time analytics, and more.

Manychat — visual bot builder for Facebook Messenger with broadcasts, analytics, scheduled posting and many other features!

Crello — free graphic design editor that helps create images for social media, print and other web-based graphics.

Funnelytics — the best funnel mapping software available to marketers and entrepreneurs today.

Kinsta — Premium WordPress Hosting for Everyone. Kinsta’s managed WordPress hosting service helps you take care of all your website needs.

Integromat — is a powerful automation tool that connects your apps and services to work smarter, not harder.

Webflow — all-in-one web design tool that allows users to design, build, and launch responsive websites visually.

FlowKit — allows designers to create frighteningly fast user flows within Sketch and Figma.

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