There is a kind of communication where you need a little more than your opponent. Very heavy and unpleasant. People don’t like to give, negotiate, be flexible anyway. All this is fear of death. Each of us thought about “what will remain after me” at least once.
Most often, we do not like the answers found. Therefore, any encroachment on the sphere of one’s interests and competencies is perceived as a negative investment in the future memory of oneself. Here, by the way, is the nature of envy: people envy each other where they would like to succeed when they see the potential or hard work that exceeds their own. On the other hand, such negotiations – a challenge, a test (for all parties), a vaccination, and a hardening – are all about getting their dignity.
That’s why feedback is so important. I am still convinced that polite and reasoned refusal makes one person on the planet happier: he was given attention, he was given motivation to work further and a chance to succeed. After all, mistakes can be corrected only when you know what is wrong.
Few people write “Little Prince” and invent an iPhone for the first time. Unanswered questions settle resentment and anger on the planet. And civilization develops only due to communication and collaboration – dialogue and cooperation.
The importance of a calm answerThe best way for a person to manifest himself is to communicate with those from whom he (in the moment) does not need anything. Click To Tweet
This is where those who need a little less or nothing in negotiations, bureaucrats, directors of barriers and passageways, assert themselves, rise and drink their greatness. On the contrary, all truly successful and self-confident people are always open and delicate. They do not doubt that by sharing their opinions, knowledge, opportunities and even a bottle of champagne, they will find new ways to become even better and more relaxed.
When I am approached with requests and wishes, and I, for example, am exhausted and tired, I immediately imagine myself as Rockefeller. What would he do if he were me? I smile, I listen, I promise to think, and I ask you to remind me of yourself with a letter. If a person really cares about the subject of conversation, he or she will write.
The main rule of negotiation, which I have learned for myself over the years of exercise, is never, for any reason, with anyone, under any circumstances, not to sink to trolling, pranks, blatant negativity, and unpleasant language. In this case, the negotiations are doomed to failure with precipitation for both sides, and the best thing that can be achieved is a momentary relief of the steam system.
But the strategic failure is much more significant: you have not received the necessary, you have spoiled relations and your reputation, you will finally become ashamed of your behavior, and there is already a person on the planet who (+ all his entourage) is not happy with you. Curiously, it is equally disappointing not to get, breaking this rule, a cool project and a table in your favorite restaurant.