It’s harder than it looks at first glance. It would seem that you need to put more effort and action, to break through the “defense” of other people’s voices, which tell you what, how and when to do.
But not quite. I have discovered for myself that the ability to be yourself is based on your self-esteem. If your self-esteem is underestimated, you knowingly cannot achieve the results you want. Why? Because you do not consider yourself worthy to do so.
Who is to blame and what to do?
You are always the only one who limits yourself, relying on your previous experience. And let’s be honest – not everyone has a beautiful experience. Most often it comes from childhood. Maybe your parents did not give you independence and freedom or gave you freedom, but when you failed – scolded you. Older brother or sister bullied you or said that all your dreams (but actually these are not dreams, these are goals and intentions!) – barren fantasies.Nobody wanted to limit you. Your environment is your authority, your guide to the big world. Your authority has told you that this is impossible, and you have believed it. Click To Tweet
Your surroundings did everything for the best of their abilities – they saw the world around them from their own experience.
It’s time to turn back the clock, forgive everyone their mistakes (they couldn’t do better, though) and move on.
Here a few recommendations for you
1) Learn to love yourself as you are. This means accepting your advantages and disadvantages unconditionally. Only by accepting them you will be able to work with them.
2) Don’t listen to the voices around you that saying, “You can’t”. Find someone who sees your potential or becomes a “light” to yourself.
3) Forgive your surroundings for making you who you are now. And forgive yourself for believing in your surroundings and limiting yourself.
4) Always try to do what is right for you. Remember that you have personal boundaries. Be calm, but firm. Always ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I want to, or because I’m afraid of judgment? In the depths of low self-esteem, there is always fear and/or envy.
5) Learn how to work with emotions. Anger, irritation, dissatisfaction, and love are all resourceful emotions if you know how to control and work with them properly.
6) Finally, go to a psychologist. I have attended several sessions with practicing gestalt psychologists, and it helps to clear mental garbage.
And that’s all I have. If you have any questions, you know where to find me.